Vend-A-Cure is an artificial intelligence machine located at the Clinic. On Friday, the Postal Dude needs to take a "wicked leak" since the beginning of the day. When he pisses, he notes it hurts to urinate, so he adds one more errand to his list which is "Go to clinic". Once in the clinic, the nurses tell him that he has gonorrhea and that he needs to see Vend-A-Cure.
Vend-A-Cure asks the Postal Dude to give him a sample of his piss, and asks him not to splash him, since it seems that he has been splashed many times, since there is so much piss on the floor that the clinic personnel placed a "Wet Floor" caution sign. When the Postal Dude gives Vend-A-Cure the sample, the machine snaps at him for splashing and tells him it is disgusting, and gives him some Gonorrhea Medicine to cure his gonorrhea.
If the Postal Dude gives Vend-A-Cure piss samples before Friday or after getting cured, Vend-A-Cure will give him a Health Pipe.
Vend-A-Cure machines are also seen in the Hospital on Saturday in Apocalypse Weekend, in the School Daze in A Week In Paradise, and in the Robotics Factory on Thursday in Paradise Lost, again providing the Postal Dude with Health Pipes if urinated.