Thursday is the fourth playable day in Paradise Lost. It has 4 Errands total.
- Get Cure Chemicals – Head to the Chemical Factory and buy or steal Chemicals to create Ensmallen Cure.
- Get Mechanical Stilts - Head to the Robotics Factory to get prototype of Mechanical Stilts for Big McWillis.
- Sabotage Karaoke - Head to the Fire in the Hole club to sabotage karaoke night inside.
- Recover Cure - (This errand will activate after you get Chemicals and get robbed) Head to the Bandits’ Hideout to retrieve stolen Ensmallen Cure.
The Postal Dude wakes up in the ColeMine and is greeted by member of the Cole-Men. He then tells him that their leader is ready to speak with him. It turns out that leader of Cole-Men is Gary Coleman that rides atop a large, simple man which he controls and uses to communicate, calling himself “Big McWillis”. He believes that tall people oppress midgets and wants to carry out an uprising against them. Dude ask him if he is not too tall to be a midget, but Big McWills tells him that he is midget as well but exceptionally tall. He tell Dude that they can create a cure to shrink gigantic Champ but first he must show them his devotion and complete simple errands for them.
- Get Cure Chemicals - To shrink Champ, Postal Dude must find proper Chemicals for Cole-Men. Dude heads to the Chemical Factory to get some. When he gets there, he tells desk clerk that he came to purchase some Chemicals. The woman tells him to take a number and wait in line even though he is the only one customer. He takes the number and sees that he’s number 30 but the served number is 2. So Dude has to options. He can wait long time until he will be served and pay $1000 for the chemicals, or head to Employees Area and steal Chemicals. If he chooses second option, he must face large group of Rednecks that are working inside and find out that Chemicals are nothing more than beer.
- Get Mechanical Stilts - In order to fight with tall ones, Big McWillis tell Dude that they need Mechanical Stilts. Postal Dude heads to the Robotics Factory to gain prototype of Mechanical Stilts. He notices that nobody is going to serve him at the cash desk, so he must find them without any help. Inside the Factory, Dude sees that scientists are working on Robots. When Postal Dude obtains Stilts, a group of robots are disguised that one scientist pissed on one of them and then they revolt against their creators. This causes emergency lockdown systems to activate and cuts way that Dude came to the Factory. Without any choice, Postal Dude must find alternative way out and face with enraged robots and look out of nasty surprises that awaits inside Factory. After navigating through entire Factory, Dude finally escapes from building safe and sound.
- Sabotage Karaoke - Big McWillis tells Dude that Cole-Men want to start uprising against tall ones by destroying their entertainment. Postal Dude must head to the Fire in the Hole club to sabotage karaoke night. Inside he will finds a lot of people dancing to the music. To complete this errand sing all four songs while standing on main stage. When Citizens hear his singing they comment that he sucks and then all of them will leave the club. Alternatively, the Dude can deliberately thrash the nightclub by destroying the audio-visual equipments using his foot or his baseball bat. However, this will cause its owner Milo Yiannopoulos (on rare occasions), the bartender on duty and the dancing people to pull out their weapons and immediately attack him. Once this is done, the Dude's Wanted level increases sharply and the Lawmen will siege the club along with the Survivalists and try to attack or arrest him. if the Dude successfully deals with them, a Survivalist camping on the rooftop of the former Grossman's Arcade located directly opposite the club will start attacking him.
- Recover Cure - After Postal Dude leaves Chemical Factory, he is knocked out and robbed by two Bandits. Fortunately Dude heard where they are going to take all his stuff and heads to their Hideout to retrieve all his items including Chemicals needed for curing Champ. Inside the building a voice in his head will notice that his stuff which was stolen is lying all around the place and tells him to look around to find all of them. But to retrieve Chemicals, Postal Dude must fight with Bandits’ leader Two-Ears who uses stationary Machine Gun to attack him. Without any option, Dude must fight with him and other Bandits to retrieve stolen Chemicals.
After completing his tasks Postal Dude returns to ColeMine to speak with Big McWillis to give him Chemicals. He gives them to Gary who urinates to it and that creates Ensmallen Cure needed to shrink Champ. However, the Dude decides to test it to see if it works first. He tries it on Big McWillis and it works causing him to shrink down and break the wooden bridge, causing Gary to fall into the abyss. This prompts Cole-Men to attack Dude for killing their leader. After that Dude must find a way out while facing with enraged Cole-Men. Ultimately he manages to escape the Mines and sees Osama and other Terrorists in colorful outfits. They say that they don’t want to harm him and now they are peaceful organization and tell Dude to come with them to their base.