"Krotchy ain't got no cojones. Krotchy IS cojones, bitch! " — taunt

Krotchy outside Toyz 'n tha Hood.
Type Human - Mascot
Gender Male
Affiliations Toyz 'n tha Hood
Status Game - Alive
Film - Dead
Played by Marcus Davis (Postal 2)
Greg Blackman (Paradise Lost)
Vince Desi (Postal film)

Krotchy is an animated ballsack mascot based on the famous Krotchy Doll. It is said that Krotchy is "beloved by children and Catholic Priests everywhere".


Krotchy is not introduced in Postal 2 until Thursday, but a promotional image of him is seen since Tuesday in televisions in Turdines, the furniture store of Paradise Mall. On Wednesday, during the General Election, Krotchy's name appears on the ballot, as he is running for the position of Safety Inspector as part of the Prostitution Party.

Krotchy is so famous, Paradise's mayor declared that Thursday would be "Krotchy Day". One of the errands from that day involves the Postal Dude getting a Krotchy Doll. However, when he arrives at Toyz 'n tha Hood, Krotchy tells him that there are no more Krotchy Dolls available by saying "We all sold out and shit", but he can get one of the Larry the Crab dolls since there are still plenty of them as they are not popular as Krotchy. After the Postal Dude breaks into the store to get the Krotchy Doll and defeats all employees and policemen, Krotchy will fight the Postal Dude personally.

Krotchy is entirely invulnerable to bullets but can be harmed by explosives or melee weapons like the Police Baton, the Shovel or the Scissors. Krotchy is armed with a Rocket Launcher and a Shotgun. He fires heat seeking rockets from the rocket launcher and will switch to the shotgun at close range. You can also just buy a Krotchy doll from him directly by using your money on him or exchange it using a copy of What I'm Talkin' Bout, either of these alternatives will completely avoid conflict.

At the end of the day, the Postal Dude's wife asks him if he got Krotchy, to which the Dude replies he got Krotchy a couple of times, referring to getting the doll and defeating (or escaping from) Krotchy himself. Regardless of whether Krotchy was killed or not, it is revealed on Friday that he has been arrested and is a cellmate of Gary Coleman. Also on Friday, a group of Krotchys can be found fighting a group of Gary Colemans in a hidden easter egg arena on the top floor of the Mall.

Paradise Lost Edit


The Wise Wang.

Krotchy returns for a brief role as both the narrator and as a wise sage, "the Wise Wang". He has holed himself up in the old RWS building and begins the Postal Dude Monday's quest to find and restore his lost dog. He can be found in the CCCP section of the mall on Thursday, looking down at you in the lab from a window. Also, on Friday, he is seen in prison again. He is at the death row along with the Old Man and an RWS staff member.

On higher difficulties, the quest to see him is removed as the Photo quest is also removed due to the NPCs attacking the Dude automatically on sight.

Postal 3Edit


Krotchy as he appears in a Postal 3 trailer.

It is revealed in Postal 3 that Krotchy survived the Apocalypse and the destruction of Paradise. He now resides in Catharsis, where he runs a healthy-conscious fast food franchise named "Krotchy's Tossed Salad".

During the Insane Path, it is revealed that Krotchy is in cahoots with Uncle Dave with his Krotchy dolls being filled with Plutonium supplied by Osama. Later on, the Postal Dude (on the lamb after escaping jail) asks to "borrow" Krotchy's suit. Not happy about this, Krotchy and his crew of Nerds fight the Dude before being killed.



Vince Desi portrayed Krotchy in the Postal film.

In the Postal film, Krotchy appears at the amusement park Little Germany, since 2000 Krotchy dolls would be sold at the park. Vince Desi is revealed as the real identity of Krotchy, as he unmasks himself and confronts Uwe Boll for ruining Postal and adapting it into a film.

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