"Krotchy ain't got no cojones. Krotchy IS cojones, bitch!" — taunt
Krotchy outside Toyz 'n tha Hood.
|Type||Human - Mascot|
|Affiliations||Toyz 'n tha Hood|
|Status|| Game - Alive|
Film - Dead
|Played by||Marcus Davis - (Postal 2)|
Greg Blackman (Paradise Lost)
Vince Desi - (Postal film)
Krotchy is not introduced in Postal 2 until Thursday, but a promotional image of him is seen since Tuesday in televisions in Turdines, the furniture store of Paradise Mall. On Wednesday, during the General Election, Krotchy's name appears in the ballot, as he is running for the position of Safety Inspector as part of the Prostitution Party.
Krotchy is so famous, Paradise's mayor declared that Thursday would be "Krotchy Day". One of the errands from that day involves the Postal Dude getting a Krotchy Doll. However, when he arrives to Toyz 'n tha Hood, Krotchy tells him that there are no more Krotchy Dolls available, but he can get one of the Larry the Crab dolls, since there are still plenty of them as they are not popular as Krotchy. After the Postal Dude breaks into the store to get the Krotchy Doll and defeats all employees and policemen, Krotchy will fight the Postal Dude personally. Krotchy is entirely invulnerable to bullets, but can be harmed by explosives or melee weapons like the Police Baton, the Shovel or the Scissors. Krotchy is armed with a Rocket Launcher and a Shotgun. He fires heat seeking rockets from the rocket launcher, and will switch to the shotgun at close range.
At the end of the day, the Postal Dude's wife asks him if he got Krotchy, to which the Dude replies he got Krotchy a couple of times, referring to getting the doll and defeating (or escaping from) Krotchy himself. Regardless of whether Krotchy was killed or not, it is revealed on Friday that he has been arrested and is a cellmate of Gary Coleman. Also on Friday, a group of Krotchys can be found fighting a group of Gary Colemans in a hidden easter egg arena on the top floor of the Mall.
In A Week In Paradise, the confrontation against Krotchy after retrieving the doll is adapted into a boss battle, and Krotchy is given 446 HP. Still, attacks by shooting weapons do not take any hit points away from Krotchy.
It is revealed in Postal 3 that Krotchy survived the Apocalypse and the destruction of Paradise. He now resides in Catharsis, where he runs a healthy-conscious fast food franchise named "Krotchy's Tossed Salad". It is also revealed that Krotchy is somehow connected to Osama, and that Randy Jones is obsessed with him. After Postal Dude's jailbreak in the Bad path he fights Krotchy for his suit.
In the Postal film, Krotchy appears at the amusement park Little Germany, since 2000 Krotchy dolls would be sold at the park. Vince Desi is revealed as the real identity of Krotchy, as he unmasks himself and confronts Uwe Boll for ruining Postal and adapting it into a film.
Paradise Lost Edit
Krotchy returns for a brief role as both the Introductionary narrator and as a wise sage who begins the Postal dude's quest to find and restore his lost dog.
|Characters in Postal²|
|The Postal Dude | The Bitch | Champ | Vince Desi | Habib | Gary Coleman | Krotchy | Larry the Crab | Uncle Dave | Phraud Hogslop | Mike J | Junkyard Guy | Earl | Rosco | T. Dude, Sr. | Lieberman | Zombie Dad|
|Law Enforcement Organizations|
|Police | SWAT | National Guard | ATF|
|Parents for Decency | Book Protestors | Rednecks | Butchers | Carriers | Vegetarians|
|Civilians | RWS Staff | Robbers | The Marching Band | Al Qaeda | Priests | Coleman's Crew | Religious Zealots | Postal Babes | Zombies | Bullfish Interactive security staff | Fags|
|Dogs | Cats | Elephants | Cows|
|Characters in Postal III|
|The Postal Dude | Champ | Krotchy | Mayor Chomo | Randy Jones | Jennifer Walcott | Sergey Mavrodi | Uncle Dave | Lt. Deutschbagge | Al | Osama | Uwe Boll | Hugo Chavez|
|Law Enforcement Organizations|
|Police | SWAT|
|Civilians | Al Qaeda | Postal Babes | Hockey Moms | Nerds | Ecozealots | Hell's A-Holes Segway Biker Gang | Venezuelan Army|
|Dogs | Cats | Monkey | Badger Saw | Rhino | Bee hive|
|POSTAL filmCharacters in the|
|The Postal Dude | Uncle Dave | Richard | Faith | Verne Troyer | George W. Bush | Officer John | Officer Greg | The Bitch | Krotchy/Vince Desi | Uwe Boll | Harry | Champ|
|Osama | Mohammed | Habib | Asif | Nabi|
|Civilians | Police | Religious Cult|