The Lazer Pen is a weapon in Postal III.
Description[]
It functions as a way to direct Champ or the Helper Monkey at enemies to maul/face rape. Primary fire points the laser, and alt-fire is used to call Champ/the monkey back.
| Weapons in Postal III | |
|---|---|
| Non-Lethal | Empty Hands | Kick | Severed Limbs | Pee! | Taser | Pepper Spray |
| Special | Shop Vac | Catnip Spray | Badger Saw | Lazer Pen | Bees | Gas Can | Matches | Fart Gun |
| Melee | Shovel | Nightstick | Nail Bat | Hammer | Machete | Fire Axe |
| Firearms | Pistol | Boomstek | M-Gun | M16 | Rocket Launcher |
| Throwables | Grenades | Molotov Cocktail | Krotchy Doll | Cats | Helper Monkey |
| Cut Weapons | Dog's Toy |