''Whatchu talkin' 'bout, asshole?''
Gary Coleman is a major character in POSTAL 2 and its expansions, Apocalypse Weekend and Paradise Lost.
Description[]
A celebrity, he arrives on Tuesday to give autographed copies of his book What I'm Talkin' Bout at the Paradise Mall.
Due to Gary's popularity, Paradise's Mayor declared Tuesday as "Gary Coleman Day", and the line to get an autograph is really long. Some bystanders even seem to be in line at least for a second time, and Gary asks them "You still here?". People often lie when getting their copies, claiming it is for someone else. After getting their signed copies of the book, some people start laughing as they are going away. The Postal Dude is one of those to lie, and says the copy is for his mother. Gary does not believe him and says "yeah, sure it is." then tells the Postal Dude that if he sees him selling the copy on eBay, he will go to the Dude's home and kick his "narrow ass".
After signing the Postal Dude's copy, the Police arrives to the mall with an order to arrest him. Gary replies he is not going back to prison, and confronts the policemen along with his crew. After the gunfight, the Postal Dude suggests that Gary was gunned down by the Police (or by him), and asks his wife if they would get more money for the book because of him being dead, thus confirming that the Postal Dude and the Bitch's plan was to sell the book on eBay. Regardless of the player's actions, it's revealed on Friday that Gary has been arrested and is a cellmate of Krotchy.
Gary Coleman has noticeably more health than any other human character in the game, and fights with an assault rifle and hand grenades. He also takes significantly reduced damage from Machine Gun rounds, requiring 110 machine gun bullets to kill on Average difficulty (compared to just 14 Pistol shots, 22 Scissors, or 4 Grenades). He is one of two somewhat boss-like characters in the game, the other being Krotchy.
Apocalypse Weekend[]
During Saturday in Apocalypse Weekend, Gary appears briefly in the Hospital, his leg being bandaged. He is later seen in Lower Paradise, fleeing from the Postal Dude everytime he sees him. On Sunday, Gary is well again, and is seen attending a meeting led by Osama, along with Zombies, Vegetarians, and other Terrorists. Gary and all these individuals apparently feel oppressed, so they start an attack on other people and fight the National Guard, along with the Postal Dude.
During Apocalypse Weekend, the Postal Dude has hallucinations as a result of the gun shot to his head. During these hallucinations, the environment is distorted and the Dude is attacked by zombie-like creatures resembling Gary.
Paradise Lost[]
Gary on Big McWillis in the ColeMine.
Coleman returns in Paradise Lost as the leader of the Cole-Men faction, a group of midgets who wish to rise up against the "tall oppressors" and are headquartered out of the Cole Mine. Gary Coleman rides atop a large, simple man which he controls and uses to communicate, calling himself "Big McWillis". He is encountered at the beginning of Thursday, where he decides to help Postal Dude in his quest to shrink the giant mutated Champ back to his normal size, reasoning that since the Dude wants to make small what is currently large, he is an ideological ally of the Cole-Men.
At the end of Thursday, after Coleman creates the Ensmallen Cure from his own urine, the Postal Dude betrays him by testing the cure on his "Big McWillis" body, which shrinks to tiny size and drops Coleman himself into a deep mine pit. This turns the Cole-Men hostile to the Dude. While the Dude is escaping through the Cole Mine from the Cole-Men, Gary Coleman will occasionally attack him by using a giant drilling machine to chase him down the mine tunnels. The Dude eventually lures the drilling machine over a cliff, causing Coleman to once again plunge into a deep pit.
Gary Coleman can be fought as an optional boss battle at the end of Friday during The Apocalypse, after defeating the Bitch, if the Postal Dude opts to kill all the faction leaders instead of simply escaping the town with Champ. Coleman behaves identically to how he did in the original Postal 2, fighting with a Machine Gun and Frag Grenades, although he has much more health than he did in Postal 2. Coleman has less health than most of the other bosses in Paradise Lost, but still has significantly more health than any normal, non-boss enemy. It requires about 49 Pistol shots or more than 100 Machine Gun rounds to kill him, and like other bosses he is resistant to melee dismemberments or being set on fire. A few Cole-Men will run in during the boss fight to help him.
POSTAL 4: No Regerts[]
Gary himself does not physically appear in POSTAL 4, though he makes a cameo during the intro sequence, being hugged by the Postal Dude alongside Zack Ward. A tombstone for the real Coleman can also be found in the historic district.
Trivia[]
- Gary did not appear in the Postal film. Instead, Verne Troyer (better known as Mini-Me in the Austin Powers series) played the "sub-celebrity" role.
- The reason was revealed during an interview by Vince Desi with guffandstuff.net at Game On Expo 2016. During the event, Vince revealed that most of the filming for the Postal film starring Gary were almost complete before he suffered an epidural hematoma and died days later. This is unlikely, however, as Coleman died 3 years after the film was released. Video here
- The cheat code "Whatchutalkinbout" will change every bystander in Paradise to Gary Coleman. Every Gary has their copy of What I'm Talkin' 'Bout.
- If the player disrupts Gary's normal NPC behavior at the autograph booth (like making a scene by killing the people waiting in line) it's possible to get Gary to sign the petition, assuming that objective has yet to be completed. Since this doesn't involve signing a copy of his book, this obviously doesn't satisfy the "get Gary Coleman's autograph" objective.
- This can also be done after the cops arrive to arrest Gary, once all of them are dead.
- In Paradise Lost, Gary Coleman himself speaks with recycled voice clips from Postal 2, with his "Big McWillis" body (voiced by Mike J of Running with Scissors) used to speak new plot-related dialogue. This is due to Gary Coleman having died on the 28th of May 2010, five years before Paradise Lost was released.
- The duo may additionally be a reference to Master Blaster, a villain from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.
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