The Cole-Men are a group of midgets wearing blue suits with a 67/8 legend on the back. They wish to rise up against the "tall oppressors". Their leader is Gary Coleman and are headquartered in the ColeMine. They are encountered at the beginning of Thursday, where they decide to help the Postal Dude in his quest to shrink the giant mutated Champ back to his normal size, reasoning that since the Dude wants to make small what is currently large, he is an ideological ally of the Cole-Men.
At the end of Thursday, after Coleman creates the Ensmallen Cure from his own urine, the Postal Dude betrays the Cole-Men by testing the cure on Big McWillis, which shrinks to tiny size and drops Coleman himself into a deep mine. This turns the Cole-Men hostile to the Dude.
|Characters in Postal²|
|Postal Dude | The Bitch | Champ | Vince Desi | Mike J | Habib | Gary Coleman | Krotchy | Larry the Crab | Uncle Dave | Osama | Phraud Hogslop | Junkyard Guy | Earl | Rosco | T. Dude, Sr. | Lieberman | Zombie Dad | Easter Bunny | Zack Ward | Big McWillis | Yeeland | Old Man | John Murray | Milo Yiannopoulos | PU CEO | Two-Ears | That Beloved Bookcase|
|Law Enforcement Organizations|
|Police | SWAT | National Guard | ATF | Lawmen | Survivalists|
|RWS Protestors | Book Protestors | Rednecks | Butchers | Carriers | Vegetarians | Food Technicians | Game Devs | Gingers | Bandits | Survivalists|
|Civilians | RWS Staff | Robbers | Marching Band | Terrorists | Priests | Coleman's Crew | Religious Zealots | Postal Babes | Security Staff | Zombies | Skeletons | Cole-Men | HAAT | DEET | Robots|
|Dogs | Cats | Elephants | Cows | Monkeys | Dinosaurs|